Theory and Theology of Friendship Pt. 2 - The Cure of Insomnia

I realize that this type of treatise is not a lot of fun to read. I will try my best to keep it useful and upbeat. Again, I owe credit of mostly all of this information to the His Holiness John Paul II and to biblical and early Greek writers.

To summarize my last post: We were talking about the difference between virtuous and convenient friendships. No friendship is bad. Some are just more mature than others. The friendship we seek to cultivate in all of our relationships should be that in which a friend loves another for his or her own benefit, and wants to see that person's good achieved.

You can see more details pertaining to the philosophical discussion of friendship in the previous post. Now that we have covered a very basic foundation, I would like to move onto the more practical insights. Friendships requires time, freedom, selflessness, and noble goals. It takes time to develop a friendship. So often we jump into friendships and it's all we talk about and then within a month or two we find that relationship stale and not novel anymore. How many times do we dive into friendships and keep pushing or pulling them along faster than they should go, expecting much of our friend or giving too much before it is really appropriate? Friendships need patience. We cannot make them go faster.

A second thing we need to realize about friendships is that friendships require freedom. True friendships are not possessive. Rather they foster freedom. They seek the good of the other person first and foremost. Playing mind games is very detrimental to a relationship, but how many times do we do that? We are manipulative. Women can be manipulative, but so can men. Usually it happens between people of the opposite sex. Whenever we hold onto a friend in this way, we are stifling their spiritual and emotional growth and therefore stifling the growth of the relationship. I recently attended a lecture on sexual and domestic abuse. The lecturer told stories and gave numerous examples of how such mind games are used intentionally to gain control of a person and to cause them harm. Hopefully in the cases I am referring to in our personal lives the mechanism is far less intentional and far less harmful.

Friendships require selflessness. They require sacrifice, compromise, unconditional love, and common sense. It takes a lot of time, energy, and effort to build a friendship. If you will, it takes a talented artist great effort to make a great sculpture, but it takes one act of stupidity to break it. It takes years or months to build a true friendship. But it takes only a wrong word, attitude, not being there when someone needs you... only a little bit to destroy a friendship. Incidental friendships are more likely to disappear because needs fade and the friendships are not worth preserving. But virtuous friendships go beyond these difficulties.

A true friendship is oriented toward what is good. A true friend is always seeking for the highest goal. Bad company corrupts good morals (1 Corinthians 15). Every time a friend encourages one to do something that is evil, then he or she is falling short of his or her role. Now, there is a difference between an accident and a pattern. We all make mistakes once in a while. Whenever that happens, we just need to ask for forgiveness and commit to the relationship. If we make this a habit, we need to re-evaluate the friendship. We need to realize what is at stake. Jesus said, "No one has a greater love than this; to lay down his life for his friend." That is the goal we must have in mind.

We need to realize that friendship is a two way street. Love can be a one way street. This is what I mean: Friendship requires reciprocity. I cannot be friends with someone who doesn't want to be friends with me. Love is an act of our will. I am called to love even my enemies, but I am not called to be loved back. So, although friendship requires love, it goes a little bit further in that it requires something back. It is in our power to decide whether we want to pursue a friendship or not. We also must also respect the fact that others may make the same decisions with respect to us. As hurtful as it is to be rejected we need to know that we cannot force a friendship on anybody.

Now that I have written quite extensively (if I may say so) on friendship, I would like in the future to write about dating/marriage. It actually flows quite naturally from this discussion. In a way, marriage is the utmost fulfillment of friendship.

God bless, as always.

-T.J.B

Theory and Theology of Friendship

In light of my last posts, I figure it would be more productive to start writing a few essays in order to address my view toward friendship and dating. I would like to approach the topic from its inherent relationship to theology and religion. My discussion - like so many others before it - follows Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body. I have also taken a lot of philosophy of friendship from C.S. Lewis' The Four Loves. This topic of friendship and dating is a topic that I think interests everyone regardless of age, state in life, or even future plans.

The reality of friendship goes back to the very beginning of humanity. Now, before we go into the whole creationism debate, the point of the creation story is to portray the purpose, role, and basic nature of our existence as human beings. The scientific details can be left to a different discussion. God said, "It is not good for man to be alone." He of couse did not mean just males, but that a person should not have to be alone. Therefore, God created Eve to be a friend, companion and spouse to Adam. Throughout history, many great poets and philosophers have addressed the issue of fiendship. One particular perspective that stands out to me is from Aristotle.

What is friendship? I would like to take Aristotle's definition: "Without friends, no one would choose to live though he had all other goods." And so, friendship contributes to one's happiness and well being. He continues, "Frienship is a relationship of affection that occurs between two human persons, who have the maturity to bear some kind of good will toward one another." This long passage says four main things: There is affection, there are human persons, and there is maturity and good will.

Let's examine each of these four areas separately. Not all kinds of affections lead to true friendships. So, there are three main types of affections: there is the pleasant, the useful, and the virtuous. The first type, pleasant friendship, is what you might call "having a good time with a friend." Someone you have a lot of fun spending time with fits into this category or someone that makes us laugh, etc. Whenever we have a good time with someone, it is a pleasant friendship. This is good, but it's not enough. Then there is this useful friendship. Whenever our friendship revolves around some sort of benefit. An example of this is a study partner. I give him/her something and I get something back. Teammates also fit into this catagory. These friendships keep us on track and offer us something that we benefit from. These two types of friendships are important. Actually most friendships begin on this level. But they lack two main characteristics. The first is that the friend is not loved for his or her own sake. Secondly, the friend is not loved for who he or she is. If you will, these two friendships are concerned more with what am I going to get out of this friendship - in terms of pleasure or benefit. Therefore, Aristotle calls these two types of friendships incidental. This term is in the sense that these forms are below some sort of higher standard. These friendships are not bad by any means but they are meant to be brought to a higher level.

The years of college are the years where you will develop the most important friendships of you lives up to now. Aristotle tells us that there is a third level of friendship that we are all called to achieve. He says:

"Those who wish well to their friends for the other's sake are most truely friends for they do this by reason of the other's nature and not incidentally. This friendship is substantial." So, true friendship is therefore experienced when a person has the good of the other in mind. This means it goes way beyond our personal fulfillment. As usual, every time we leave something lower for something higher, in some ways when we look back we will find that the lower part also followed us. So, if we start to look for friendships for the good of the person, then inevitably pleasure and benefits will come; not because they were persued as the ultimate goal in the first place, but they follow.

There is a saying that I like "Immature love says, 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says, 'I need you because I love you.'" So, everytime we act immaturely we act based on our need. This isn't bad (as in immoral) but it's not the greatest. We persue need the other person because of love of the other person, we seek first their good. This saying effectively sums up what is meant by the distinction between the incidental and substantial. We're all on a journey. We can all say at some point, "I have a mature relationship here, but in these other relationships there is some immaturity. There is not a clear cut solution, but that is where we are all called. There is also a passage in scripture that adds very well to this topic.

"Let love be sincere. Avoid what is evil. Hold on to what is good. Love one another with mutual affection. Anticipate one another in showing honor."

Upon this foundation of friendship, can true and fruitful flourish.

More to come as always... eventually.

May God Bless you always.

-T.J.B

Paradise Lost

I think I owe it to anyone reading to give a forewarning that this is not exactly an excellent literary piece. It is a mixture of ranting and self pity. But if you really think about it, 90% of the "blogosphere" consists of one or the other of these tones.

Last night I had the privilege of attending a holiday party for our collegiate ambulance service. This is an event that I look forward to every year, and in the past it has been a fun way to relax before we head into the academic asceticism of finals week.

I had a great time overall, but I still felt quite disconnected from people I sincerely want to become close to. Of course, I live in a world where people care - and I hope others do to. This is a world where we love one another on a level higher than we love our pets or we love our cars. The party scene is great in my book- cards, dice, ping-pong and solo cup all! But I just can't handle its intrusion into what seems to be any and every social event beheld by the Penn State student.

I would really like to build meaningful friendships, and alcohol certainly impairs that (no pun intended). I suppose I am already predisposed to feeling insecure about what to call a real friendship vs what is just a mutually beneficial relationship (such as a business relationship). I will say this: real friendships are based on more than getting drunk together and having "we were there together" relationship.

Show me good conversation. Show me your stupid dance moves. LIVE life as you were dying (as the song goes). Maybe we can have a REAL movie night, just laying around the TV in the dark watching movies into the late night, and laughing about the good times. No need to go cold sober and stop socializing or going to bars. That's certainly not the conclusion I'm trying to draw here. Just try not to waste every weekend of your college career blacking out and waking up in strange places next to strange people. These days are gone before you know it.

As always, may you live in happiness. Best of luck on finals!

-T.J.B

YAY MORALE!!!

Exciting news! Just last Thursday I came back from the 2007 THON moraler orientation and introduction. I can't wait to be part of the move of the largest student run philathropy in the world into the Bryce Jordan Center. We're going to totally rock it this year. FTK always! :D

More to come later!

Reproduced Article About Online Privacy.

June 11, 2006
For Some, Online Persona Undermines a Résumé
By ALAN FINDER

When a small consulting company in Chicago was looking to hire a summer intern this month, the company's president went online to check on a promising candidate who had just graduated from the University of Illinois.

At Facebook, a popular social networking site, the executive found the candidate's Web page with this description of his interests: "smokin' blunts" (cigars hollowed out and stuffed with marijuana), shooting people and obsessive sex, all described in vivid slang.

It did not matter that the student was clearly posturing. He was done.

"A lot of it makes me think, what kind of judgment does this person have?" said the company's president, Brad Karsh. "Why are you allowing this to be viewed publicly, effectively, or semipublicly?"

Many companies that recruit on college campuses have been using search engines like Google and Yahoo to conduct background checks on seniors looking for their first job. But now, college career counselors and other experts say, some recruiters are looking up applicants on social networking sites like Facebook, MySpace, Xanga and Friendster, where college students often post risqué or teasing photographs and provocative comments about drinking, recreational drug use and sexual exploits in what some mistakenly believe is relative privacy.

When viewed by corporate recruiters or admissions officials at graduate and professional schools, such pages can make students look immature and unprofessional, at best.

"It's a growing phenomenon," said Michael Sciola, director of the career resource center at Wesleyan University in Middletown, Conn. "There are lots of employers that Google. Now they've taken the next step."

At New York University, recruiters from about 30 companies told career counselors that they were looking at the sites, said Trudy G. Steinfeld, executive director of the center for career development.

"The term they've used over and over is red flags," Ms. Steinfeld said. "Is there something about their lifestyle that we might find questionable or that we might find goes against the core values of our corporation?"

Facebook and MySpace are only two years old but have attracted millions of avid young participants, who mingle online by sharing biographical and other information, often intended to show how funny, cool or outrageous they are.

On MySpace and similar sites, personal pages are generally available to anyone who registers, with few restrictions on who can register. Facebook, though, has separate requirements for different categories of users; college students must have a college e-mail address to register. Personal pages on Facebook are restricted to friends and others on the user's campus, leading many students to assume that they are relatively private.

But companies can gain access to the information in several ways. Employees who are recent graduates often retain their college e-mail addresses, which enables them to see pages. Sometimes, too, companies ask college students working as interns to perform online background checks, said Patricia Rose, the director of career services at the University of Pennsylvania.

Concerns have already been raised about these and other Internet sites, including their potential misuse by stalkers and students exposing their own misbehavior, for example by posting photographs of hazing by college sports teams. Add to the list of unintended consequences the new hurdles for the job search.

Ana Homayoun runs Green Ivy Educational Consulting, a small firm that tutors and teaches organizational skills to high school students in the San Francisco area. Ms. Homayoun visited Duke University this spring for an alumni weekend and while there planned to interview a promising job applicant.

Curious about the candidate, Ms. Homayoun went to her page on Facebook. She found explicit photographs and commentary about the student's sexual escapades, drinking and pot smoking, including testimonials from friends. Among the pictures were shots of the young woman passed out after drinking.

"I was just shocked by the amount of stuff that she was willing to publicly display," Ms. Homayoun said. "When I saw that, I thought, 'O.K., so much for that.' "

Ms. Rose said a recruiter had told her he rejected an applicant after searching the name of the student, a chemical engineering major, on Google. Among the things the recruiter found, she said, was this remark: "I like to blow things up."

Occasionally students find evidence online that may explain why a job search is foundering. Tien Nguyen, a senior at the University of California, Los Angeles, signed up for interviews on campus with corporate recruiters, beginning last fall, but he was seldom invited.

A friend suggested in February that Mr. Nguyen research himself on Google. He found a link to a satirical essay, titled "Lying Your Way to the Top," that he had published last summer on a Web site for college students. He asked that the essay be removed. Soon, he began to be invited to job interviews, and he has now received several offers.

"I never really considered that employers would do something like that," he said. "I thought they would just look at your résumé and grades."

Jennifer Floren is chief executive of Experience Inc., which provides online information about jobs and employers to students at 3,800 universities. "This is really the first time that we've seen that stage of life captured in a kind of time capsule and in a public way," Ms. Floren said. "It has its place, but it's moving from a fraternity or sorority living room. It's now in a public arena."

Some companies, including Enterprise Rent-a-Car, Ernst & Young and Osram Sylvania, said they did not use the Internet to check on college job applicants.

"I'd rather not see that part of them," said Maureen Crawford Hentz, manager of talent acquisition at Osram Sylvania. "I don't think it's related to their bona fide occupational qualifications."

More than a half-dozen major corporations, including Morgan Stanley, Dell, Pfizer, L'Oréal and Goldman Sachs, turned down or did not respond to requests for interviews.

But other companies, particularly those involved in the digital world like Microsoft and Métier, a small software company in Washington, D.C., said researching students through social networking sites was now fairly typical. "It's becoming very much a common tool," said Warren Ashton, group marketing manager at Microsoft. "For the first time ever, you suddenly have very public information about almost any candidate."

At Microsoft, Mr. Ashton said, recruiters are given broad latitude over how to work, and there is no formal policy about using the Internet to research applicants. "There are certain recruiters and certain companies that are probably more in tune with the new technologies than others are," he said.

Microsoft and Osram Sylvania have also begun to use networking sites in a different way, participating openly in online communities to get out their company's messages and to identify talented job candidates.

Students may not know when they have been passed up for an interview or a job offer because of something a recruiter saw on the Internet. But more than a dozen college career counselors said recruiters had been telling them since last fall about incidents in which students' online writing or photographs had raised serious questions about their judgment, eliminating them as job candidates.

Some college career executives are skeptical that many employers routinely check applicants online. "My observation is that it's more fiction than fact," said Tom Devlin, director of the career center at the University of California, Berkeley.

At a conference in late May, Mr. Devlin said, he asked 40 employers if they researched students online and every one said no.

Many career counselors have been urging students to review their pages on Facebook and other sites with fresh eyes, removing photographs or text that may be inappropriate to show to their grandmother or potential employers. Counselors are also encouraging students to apply settings on Facebook that can significantly limit access to their pages.

Melanie Deitch, director of marketing at Facebook, said students should take advantage of the site's privacy settings and be smart about what they post. But students may not be following the advice.

"I think students have the view that Facebook is their space and that the adult world doesn't know about it," said Mark W. Smith, assistant vice chancellor and director of the career center at Washington University in St. Louis. "But the adult world is starting to come in."

Last time home for a while

I just got back into dear 'ol State College yesterday afternoon after a week at home. It was quite a refreshing time for me. I had a great chance to do some work other than school work... very fulfilling.

I had built some bed lofts, which took a while to put together upon arrival back at my apartment, but it finally did get done. Now my room looks just like my freshman dormroom-so much so that my roommate and I have named it "Dorm Room 2.0"
After finishing the loft building venture (photos to come later), I had to work this morning at 7am. I came into work to find that Katrina had returned at last from her voyage in Australia!(voyage=study abroad semester). I was actually really excited to see her. In fact, I would go as far as to say it made my day, although I really didn't show it! Even at 6:45 am, she is just a lot of fun to be around.

One of the websites I find myself visiting more and more these days is YouTube.com I just love to browse through the videos that are posted there. I love particularly how you can just jump from one video to the next through the "related videos" list that is generated each time you open up a new video. It's an easy way to kill hours of time better spent elsewhere! It's truely extrordinary. Anyway, one of the videos I've come across on that site has to do with UFO's. This was after viewing a couple of videos regarding scientology... which is another subject altogether that I will have to address in a future blog entry. Those people are scary. But I digress...

This stuff was pretty intriging; bringing me back to my childhood when I was completely obsessed with space and UFOs. You have no idea! After I saw Star Wars my imagination was filled with spacecraft and life in space with battles...the whole bit! I was fascinated by the idea of this huge universe beyond our world. I remember staring out of the window for long periods of time in the hope that I would see a UFO. Well, if you're a nerd like me, it's pretty interesting to read and see the different backgrounds (back-stories, if you will) to these so called sightings and see how people are able to eventually debunk them. I think a lot of this is pretty sharp and clever stuff! The key element to a good UFO story is that you only have a very basic idea of the scene, and the rest is shrouded in mystery. It lets you wonder, "well maybe... it's possible..." But once you get all of the facts, what seems to be totally amazing turns out to be completely bogus. There are some pretty famous photos that turned out to be radiators or afterburners on a jet taking off or in one case a piece of furniture launched into the sky and then photographed.

And now for the Church Latin lesson of the day!

I am finishing up the rest of the creed of the people's mass. Other Latin lessons will be added onto earlier posts.
Et unam, sanctam, cathólicam et apostólicam Ecclésiam. Confíteor unum baptísma in remissiónem peccatorum. Et expecto resurrectionem mortuorum. Et vitam ventúri sæculi. Amen.
We figure out what Ecclesiam is from the world "Ecclesial." That is, "church." So what kind of church? unam (one) sanctam (holy) catholicam et apostolicam (catholic/universal and apostolic). It is a church built on the apostles.
"Confiteor" (I profess) unum baptisima (one baptisim) in remissionem (in remission or removal... if cancer is in remission, it is removed-not present) peccatorum (sins).
Et expecto (and I expect - based off of the conjugation of the verb, "expecto") resurrectionem mortuorum (the resurrection of the dead - from the word mortal or mortus). Et vitam (and life - think vital or vida in spanish) venturi saeculi (venturi means future and saeculi means centuries... in context to mean forever).

Picasa2

Just picked up the Google photo collection software... here's one of its functions; and auto blog uploader. Pretty cool! 

Mel, Mel, Mel....

Well, I have to admit that I think Mel Gibson is as crazy as Tom Cruise when it comes to spirituality, even though he is a "Catholic" of sorts. Still, I was shocked to hear what he had said about Judaism last week (for those of you who hadn't heard about this mess, he basically blamed the Jews for all the wars in the world. That is a pretty grave thing to say and it has hurt the Jewish community immensely.

While we're on the topic, I would like to point out that the Catholic Church views the Jewish people in a way far removed from the way Mel Gibson portrayed them in his drunken rant.

So what does the Church really think about the Jewish people? I think there is often a lot of confusion in the "public knowledge" about the way the Church views the Jewish people and their role in history. I'll do my best to tell it how I see it.

One of the first places to look in order to find out more about the relationship between Catholics and the Jewish people is the Catechism of the Catholic Church. In the Catechism, the text says this: "The relationship of the Church with the Jewish People. When she delves into her own mystery, the Church, the People of God in the New Covenant, discovers her link with the Jewish People, 'the first to hear the Word of God'. The Jewish faith, unlike other non-Christian religions, is already a response to God's revelation in the Old Covenant. To the Jews 'belong the sonship, the glory, the covenants, the giving of the law, the worship, and the promises; to them belong the patriarchs, and of their race, according to the flesh, is the Christ', 'for the gifts and the call of God are irrevocable.' (CCC 839)

So here it says that the history of the Catholic Church and of the Christians is intimately linked to the history of the Jewish people because they were the first to hear God's call.

Now, the text continues, "And when one considers the future, God's People of the Old Covenant and the new People of God tend towards similar goals: expectation of the coming (or the return) of the Messiah. But one awaits the return of the Messiah who died and rose from the dead and is recognized as Lord and Son of God; the other awaits the coming of a Messiah, whose features remain hidden till the end of time..."

Now, the current pope, Pope Benedict XVI, when he was still a cardinal, wrote this: "Even if Israel cannot join Christians in seeing Jesus as the son of God, it is not altogether impossible for Israel to recognize him as the servant of God, who brings the light of his God to the nations. The converse is also true. Even if Christians wish that one day Israel might recognize Christ as the son of God, and that the fissure that still divides them might thereby be closed, they aught to acknowledge the decree of God who has obviously entrusted Israel with a distinctive mission in the time of the Gentiles."

So, here Cardinal Ratzinger talks about a distinctive mission of the Jewish people in this age; in this period of time and we have converging views. We're both looking towards this future where we wait for the return or the difinitive coming of the Messiah. So, there is definitely a light at the horizon and we are traveling in the same direction, even if we are still walking on different paths.

Cardinal Ratizinger (who, again, is now Pope Benedict XVI) wrote some more beautiful words about the realtionship between the Jewish people and the Catholic Church in 2000. He also acknowledges the difficulty and the pain that was inflicted in the past by the strained relationship between those two religions.
"Certainly from the very beginning relations between the infant church and Israel were often marked by conflict. The Church was considered by her own mother to be a degenerate daughter, while Christians considered their mother to be blind and obstinant. Down through the history of Christianity, already strained relations deteriorated further, even giving birth in many cases to anti-jewish attitudes. Such attitudes throughout history have led to deplorable acts of violence. Even if the most recent loathsome experience of the Sho'ah was perpitrated in the name an anti-christian ideology, striking Christianity at its Abrahamic roots in the people of Israel, it cannot be denied that the certain insufficient resistance to this attrocity by Christians can be partly attributed to an anti-judiasm attitude in the heart of more than a few Christians. "

So, here Ratzinger is very clear about the fact that there have been a lot of problems in the relationship between Christians and the people of Israel. A lot of misery could have been prevented or at least strongly opposed if Christians had had a better relationship with the Jews and a better understanding of the role of the Jewish people in history.

Ratzinger continues: "Perhaps is because of this most recent tragedy that a new vision of the relationship between the Church and Israel has been born; a sincere willingness to overcome every kind of anti-judaism to initiate a constructive dialogue based on knowledge of each other and on reconciliation. For such a dialogue to be fruitful, it must begin with a prayer to our common God. First, that He might grant to us Christians a greater love and appreciation for the people of Israel to whom belong the old covanent and the title of God's chosen people; that the gifts that they possess are irrevocable. In the same way, let us pray that God may grant the children of Israel a deeper knowledge of Jesus of Nazareth, who is their son and the gift they have given to us. Since we are both awaiting the final redemption, let us pray that our paths may converge."

So the official position of the Catholic Church of the Jewish people and its role in history is a positive one. We are walking on different paths, but we are walking towards the same horizon. The people of Israel was the first to receive the promise of God, and that promise is still valid. God has not abandoned His People. And there will be a future where we will be able to reconcile with each other and be able to form one body of the same God; one community of people.

So, there it is. And there is certianly no place in the Catholic Church for anti-semetic sentiments. Let's pray that we will all learn from what has happened and we will all work together to fight this anti-judaism and will fight for mutual respect for others' beliefs. For God will guide us all to one truth. His Truth.

God bless!

Great Coke Commercial

This is all I have for now.

On to some personal issues

The last posts or so have been oriented largely toward essays and essay ideas I have that I would like put down for possible later use; hence naming this blog a "Repository." However, it would probably be more interesting and more appropriate to write more personally about my life and day to day experiences. That is more the genre of this venue. I will attempt to mix in variety as the mood inspires, but I will try to stick more toward the journal type of tone for the most part.

Today is my last day of summer relaxation, I believe. Tomorrow is my first day of summer session classes. It is amazing to see the changes in campus since last weekend. It has gone from crickets to crowds. A wonderful thing about living in State College is being able to have both the excitment of a small city-- with nightlife, and mostly everything and everyone within walking distance--as well as the tranquility of the rolling farmlands and mountains when you need to get away. I'm quite grateful for the time I've had to explore the surrounding areas and to take in the splendor of the area.

Tomorrow I will return to the homework, the books, the papers, and such. There is beauty in everything in creation. It's perhaps a little difficult to see in the case of school. In any case, I will be taking techinical writing. Perhaps I'll post some of my work up here... lucky you! I will also be taking Machine Design and Heat Transfer. It should be exciting. I had professor I'm going to have for Machine Design already for another class (mechanics of vibrations). He's a good guy and is definitely willing to help out.

I will also have a busy busy work schedule in July. I'm even working on 4th of July for 16.5 hours! Somehow in EMS, it's not a big deal to work that much. I'd be doing it for free if I could afford to. So, it's going to be hectic, but somehow it will work out. Speaking of work, the last two shifts I've had haven't gone too too well. We had a minor incident with the ambulance in which the driver (not me!) accidentally scraped the fender flare against a cement wall. The next shift I had a partner who was just difficult to work with for me. I don't like saying bad things about people, so we'll just leave it at that. This Wednesday, I know I'll have a great crew.

I'm looking forward to all of the interesting things to come ahead. Hopefully this summer session will be successful.

How to Make Your Home Contemporary and "Muck" Friendly

Life has still been relatively uninspiring since I got home from my trip to Louisiana. I decided to make a list of ways to make your home more modern in its decor by getting rid of a bunch of stuff that made our work a little harder while we were cleaning out flooded houses:

• Panaling went out of style 30 years ago...and there's usually sheetrock behind it. The brighter more vibrant color of painted or wallpapered walls add dimension to a space
• Stay away from wall to wall (tacked down) carpet. It makes the room seems smaller, and it tends to develop track patterns. Space rugs can give the illusion of a more spacious floor
• Drapes and curtains are unncessesary. If privacy is an issue, use simple blinds and sleek shades.
• Don't clutter with unnessesary furniture that no one EVER uses. Simpler furniture works over bulky seats.

Thanks for your time and consideration.

Blue Collar Devotional

While staying with Hilltop Rescue and Relief in Chalmette, LA I attended a series of devotionals that consisted of sermons given by a youth minister from Florida. These talks turned out to be troubling to myself and to the group of workers I was traveling with at the time. For me personally, the talks were a bit of an attack on my Roman Catholic and general educational backgrounds. During the week, I found myself more cynical about faith in general and making light of religion as I would typically not do. Anger and frustration with what I feel is a distorted message and inappropriate context drove away any understanding that I think I would normally have.

Over the next couple of days, I would like to reflect on different issues brought up in these talks in order to put myself back on track. If anyone chooses to read these reflections, hopefully it can get others thinking as well. One might not agree with what I'm saying, but I hope my message is at least a little gentler and for goodness' sake more relevent.

The world we live in is very much in attack mode. In many situations, those that believe in this resurrection of Jesus can be perceived as fringe fanatical people with a weak sense of reality. Many want to disregard or belittle the beliefs that many hold, and have held for years. In secular society, we don't see very much people denying the existance of God or the occurance of Jesus' resurrection. Rather the real "attack" is in the trivialization of the faith. Basically we're being told that it doesn't really matter. But obviously it does matter. We're going to be spending the rest of eternity wherever we go. So, there's quite a lot at stake. The Lord doesn't deny us any opportunity to gain eternal life with him--even after we slip so many times. He will provide us with everything we need to get to heaven.

We have so many gifts to receive if we are open to receive them. We are given charismatic gifts--not to become cheerleaders for Christ, but that will enable us to fully develop as human persons and to give us the strength to reach fulfillment in eternity in heaven. It's tough to get through this life. One thing that athiests, and "religious" can certainly agree on is that life can be quite difficult at times. Again the Holy Spirit wants to strengthen us and lift us up. It is the gifts of the Holy Spirit that we are enable us to bear lasting fruit--to become holy. Like a gift that we receive on a holiday though, we might have to do some work to open up the gift and to see it work in our lives.

Your faith shouldn't become like a contract with a different organization like the IRS or something. You hear a lot of people mentioning around Easter a type of compulsary obligation to attend church. They have not opened up the gift of "Fear" that allows us to view faith and the church as a covenant. It's not legal but an agreement made because of love of another. We live by "laws" not to appease some deity, but in respect for a loving Father to whom we entrust ourselves. If you read the Psalms much of it is about the Lord persuing us to get us to recognize and love Him.

Piety is what allows one to say, "Where there is love, there is no labor." When you walk into a church you have a sense of something sacred. It takes on a whole new meaning different than walking into any other building or room. This is meant to lift our minds and hearts to God.

Rambling

Life is sometimes stormy. I wish those friends I care about could know the magnitude of my feelings.

I do not know why i am shocked
i knew it all along
happiness just does not last
something always makes it go wrong

i got to comfortable
and took down my wall
only to set myself up
with this painful fall

i relied on someone for comfort
and trusted everything they would say
but now there is nothing left
and i have to go away

i have to go back to that life
but i do not really care
because i still feel alone
whether i am here or there

so how did we lose emotion
and the bond that we once had
how are the fun and happy days
filled with the angry and bad

how did i screw this up
wreck my friendship with you
please tell me what went wrong
and tell me what i can do

i just feel like an object now
like you don't care if i'm not here
like you would not miss me
because lately you do not want me near

i do not know what is wrong with me
but i guess i am pushing you away
i just do not know what to feel anymore
or if there is anything left to say

The uncontrollable food issue

My roommate Ryan has decided that he would like to individualize all of our food choices. That is, we share nothing. Therefore, we have up to four containers of milk in the refrigerator, four different cheeses, four different everything. This is a slightly absurd situation, but it seems pretty fair overall. What it unfortunately leads to, however, is a situation where there is not enough room for us all to fit our stuff into our modestly sized refrigerator.

This problem was exacerbated when said roommate inherited about 30 lbs of food from his sister's graduation party last week. He decided not to share his food. This decision is his right and I have nothing against it... except that our refrigerator which we all pay equally to run is housing all of HIS food. 90% of the food I have claimed for myself is non-perishable.

Furthermore, these other roomies of mine insist on using the air conditioner. This would not be so aggrivating if I didn't see them sleeping with BLANKETS over themselves at night. Growing up, my house had 2 window units. One was in my parents' room. The other was in our family room. AKA I slept with a normal ceiling fan and no AC and things were peachy. How 'bout we forgo a little bit of comfort now so we can save our money and the environment. I guarantee you that global warming will cause you a great deal more discomfort.

New Blog

I am moving over to blogspot now. Xanga was a great beginning for me and many interesting ideas were spilled onto its "pages." However, it seems as though I've grown out of the xanga community. There's something more--for lack of a better word--mature about this new space. Like a home, I will not forget Xanga, but must still move on.