11 May 2008

Summer is almost here, and news about dress codes

Last week at work, we got an email sent out to the whole office from HR about the dress code in light of the rising temperatures. It was the same old no spaghetti straps or open toed shoes or short skirts.

If you know me, you know I have a fixation on these types of discussions and am a big fan of the late JPII's teachings on sexual morality. So, in fairness to all the ladies whose fashion sense may be oppressed by exaggerations on the themes of modesty, I want to share some excepts from "Love and Responsibility" which I think address the topic beautifully.

To paraphrase, if I may: John Paul II says that modesty is about inspiring a reaction to the “person” and not just to the “parts.” It is about presenting that person as a good in and of herself, and not just the body as a possible object of enjoyment.

He says that “Shame is the tendency, uniquely characteristic of the human person, to conceal sexual values sufficiently to prevent them from obscuring the value of the person as such.” But modesty isn’t just about what we’re concealing. It’s about what we’re revealing. In deflecting attention away from the “sexual values,” we are hopefully turning that attention toward the deeper attributes of the person. As JPII says “The spontaneous need to conceal mere sexual values bound up with the person is the natural way to the discovery of the value of the person as such.”

He says, however, that we conceal those sexual values “only to a certain extent, so that in combination with the value of the person, they can still be a point of origin for love.” In other words, God created men to be attracted to the female form, and vice versa. And when we fall in love with each other, the male and female shape of our bodies is not completely irrelevant to the process. If you don’t believe me, think about all of the deeper traits and characteristics you’re looking for in a spouse. Now what if, while walking through an enchanted forest, you found all of those attributes in a talking cardboard box? What level of “attraction” would you experience?

He goes on to say, in what I find to be one of the most illuminating passages of the book, that the

“accentuation of sexual values by dress is inevitable, and is not necessarily incompatible with sexual modesty. What is truly immodest in dress is that which frankly contributes to the deliberate displacement of the true value of the person by sexual values, that which is bound to elicit a reaction to the person as to a ‘possible means of obtaining sexual enjoyment’ and not ‘a possible object of love by reason of his or her personal value.’”

How refreshing is this? The virtue of modesty in dress doesn’t require us to completely hide the fact that women are women. That wouldn’t be possible, nor would we want it to be possible.

Look, I admire any woman who makes it a priority to dress modestly. She’s trying to please God, and that earns points in my book any day of the week. I do think there are some women who take it too far. There could be a lot of reasons for that. I suppose in some there may be an inordinate fear of sexuality, or of any level of attractiveness to the opposite sex. Some, as I said, may be very healthy and well intentioned, but taking their understanding of modesty to an extreme conclusion. If a little cover-up is good, then a lot of cover-up must be better.

But, as a radio host I listen to (Johnette Benkovic) says, putting on make-up in the morning is an act of charity. The point is that the rest of the world has to look at you. There’s nothing wrong with wanting that to be a pleasant experience.

What’s more important, we carry the image and likeness of God in our bodies. That’s a very, very good thing. We want the way we dress to reflect that. When we take a healthy pride in our appearance, we are demonstrating to the world that we respect ourselves, and the Lord who created us.
Good men don’t want women to dress like nuns. They want nuns to dress like nuns, of course. But not the women they date, or the women they work with or spend time with.
Men appreciate women who take pride in their appearance. Not excessive pride, of course. Nobody likes to wait for hours while a vain woman primps and paints and sprays. No man likes to hear “does this make me look fat?” And a woman who will never ride a bike – or a convertible – because it might “mess up her hair” is not a lot of fun to be around.

But a woman who dresses appropriately – and attractively – is doing a favor to the men around her. And that’s a good thing.

0 Spam messages: